Sear's *Promotions* Department

I am sitting at home, it's 9.30 am. We were due to go to Okmulgee today, but Natalie has been a little off-colour this week, and she is asleep on the sofa. I am doing laundry. I am doing it because a) If I don't, Jodie will come home from work and try to do it herself and ... b) I am an *all-round jolly good husband!*

The phone rings. This is not unusual, but normally, if anything but a name I recognise pops up in the caller display, then I just send it to voice-mail. However, starved as I am of adult conversation, I answered it, not knowing that after the call I would still be very hungry indeed:

Lady: May I speak to Mr M***** please?

Me: Who's calling?

Lady: My name is Juanita. I am calling from Sears.

Me: Are you trying to sell me something?

Lady: No Sir, I am not with the Sales Department or the Credit Card Department. I am with the Promotions Department.

Me: Are you promoting goods or services supplied by Sears?

Lady: Yes

Me: Could you explain to me how *Promoting* differs from *Selling*?

Lady: Well the Sales department does the selling, we do the promoting.

Me: *Insert dumbfounded noise here*

Me: I'd like not to be promoted to today, thank you.

Lady: Very good Sir, have a nice day.

I am at a total loss ... oh well, the sun came out so maybe the day will be slightly less surreal from here on ....